The light blue plastic astronaut

When a was a little kid, my parents used to go to lots of garage sales. Not necessarily for the thrill of the hunt. Or because they were convinced they would find the matching bowling pin lamp that was broken in one of those regrettable “don’t play ball in the house” incidents. But rather, because we were poor. My parents constantly reminded us that the people holding the garage sales were actually fools. They were getting rid of stuff just as it was entering that perfect “broken in” period.

Anyway, one day we were at some sale in the country. Way far out in the country. I found a box of trinkets. Everything in the box was a penny. I took a particular liking to this light blue plastic astronaut. I was certain my parents had okayed the purchase and had pooled their money to the delight of their only son. We all piled in the car and headed back into town. As I
played space lord in the back seat window, my parents yelled from the front seat, “where the hell to you get that light blue plastic astronaut?” I said, “What do you mean? I got it from the garage sale. I thought you paid for it.” My father slammed on the brakes. Our brown station-wagon with faux wood grain paneling clawed its way to a stop. The white gravel was forced ahead, sending the jackrabbits scurrying for cover.

My father yelled, “Hell, no. I didn’t buy that piece of crap astronaut. You stole it.” Even though I hadn’t, my father was convinced to teach me a lesson. He drove the family straight back to that garage sale and parked at the bottom of the long drive way. He looked at me angrily and said, “Now, you get up there and tell those nice people what you did.” I was terribly
embarrassed, but began my trek up the driveway to the curious glances of the garage sale onlookers.

Once I’d gotten up to the garage and began my apologetic speech, I heard my father scream from the country road, “That will teach you to...” His last words trailed off as he sped away into town never to be seen again. The nice people at the garage sale took me in and raised me as one of their own until I was old enough to go to college. I could never understand why they were so nice, even eager, to take me in. Now, years later, I think maybe they were just really glad to get that light blue plastic astronaut back.

The end.